Letter to a Unsuspecting Sucker

Dear Jake -

If I could magically go back in time and you could magically become a follower of this blog, I would have you read THIS -

http://www.usmagazine.com/moviestvmusic/news/bachelors-vienna-drained-exs-savings-on-boob-job-201032

And then say NO WONDER YOU'RE FRICKING SINGLE! You can't pick out the weirdos even when everyone's telling you they're a weirdo!

Sincerely,

Shtoon

PS - For all the non-Jake-real-people that are reading thing, Vienna reminds me of Beth. As in, Beth Harker. It's strange, and not much of a complement to Beth...